• Our Approach

  • My approach with couples combines research-based methods…

    I work with all categories of couples: pre-marital, long-term, couples in blended families, couples contemplating divorce, couples raising young children.  I am especially skilled in helping men understand the role of feelings in effective communication.

    I focus on gently getting through the “sore spot” emotional blocks that are often misunderstood by the partners.

    As a certified Gottman Couples Therapist, I offer unique and engaging “homework” exercises which really improve your relationship outside the office.  Because of my extensive experience and commitment to this field, hundreds of couples have reported lasting and positive transformations in how they think about their relationship and the way they pay attention to each other.

    Through identifying this negative cycle or pattern in each couple and teaching them to avoid it, I help couples have the real conversation they are meant to have: about the desire to be supportive and close.  Emotionally Focused Therapy tells us that, because of our backgrounds, it is often difficult to reveal sensitive and vulnerable feelings that were never accepted in our families – but that we now need to express in order to be close to our spouses.  With Emotionally Focused techniques, I help create the safe and secure atmosphere in couples counseling which makes this new level of communication possible.

    In addition to the Gottman approach, I use Emotionally Focused Therapy, (EFT).  I have completed an Externship with Susan Johnson and utilize EFT techniques to help couples work through blocks to their communication.  Research has shown that if partners understand what each one needs emotionally from the other during difficult times, those couples can navigate stressful experiences and avoid alienating each other with reactive behavior such as destructive anger or withdrawal.

    Through identifying this negative cycle or pattern in each couple and teaching them to avoid it, I help couples have the real conversation they are meant to have: about the desire to be supportive and close.  Emotionally Focused Therapy tells us that, because of our backgrounds, it is often difficult to reveal sensitive and vulnerable feelings that were never accepted in our families – but that we now need to express in order to be close to our spouses.  With Emotionally Focused techniques, I help create the safe and secure atmosphere in couples counseling which makes this new level of communication possible.

     

    Intensive Couples Therapy “Marathon Sessions”

    Couples often benefit from more intensive “marathon” sessions—several sessions in a single day—to jump-start the therapy and promote a sense of relief and hope.  “Marathon therapy” was developed from the Gottman method and involves a thorough assessment of your relationship’s strengths and challenges, and your hopes and goals.  I will share my ideas and collaborate with you to develop a plan about how to help you develop relationship skills, deepen your connection and intimacy, manage conflict, understand the deeper meaning of the conflict issues and work together to arrive at practical solutions.

     

    Individual Therapy

    I use various approaches in working with individuals achieve their goals. I utilize strength-based approach and tools, which include attachment theory, object relations, ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), and Mindfulness techniques. My work includes a diversity of populations including but not limited to, trauma, same sex gender couples, addiction recovery, depression, and anxiety.

    I work collaboratively with you to meet your personal goals, and to match the needs and issues you bring with the best approach.

    Individual Stress and Anxiety Counseling

    In working with stress, anxiety, or panic, I often start with a focused, skills-based cognitive-behavioral approach that employs specific techniques and protocols that are empirically validated.  This is likely to involve learning relaxation techniques and stress management strategies, cognitive therapy to alter negative thinking and develop self-compassion, and specific behavior change. We may also work to achieve insight and an emotion-focused working through the root of the problem. The work often involves helping you to find the right balance of change and acceptance–changing what you can change, and accepting what you cannot.

    Individual Relationship Therapy

    I also specialize in helping individuals with their relationships.  Based on years of experience helping couples improve their relationship skills, we may work individually so you can bring these skills, and your best self, to your relationship (change-oriented therapy).  This often involves self-compassion and insight to help you to change longstanding behaviors or patterns.  At other times, I may help you to achieve greater clarity and confidence about a decision whether to commit to or to leave a relationship.

    People often tell me that they appreciate my active, warm and nonjudgmental style, which offers practical suggestions and helps them explore and improve their lives